What the fuck is Sex

Yep you read it I want to know what it is cause honestly Ive fucking forgot what it is and what it feels like to have it. Nearly 2 months and nothing. I've heard once your married it dries up but I thought yeah what bullshit... Now I'm fucking convinced it's right. Ive been told its cause I'm not assertive enough and I shouldn't leave it up to him but 95% of the times I get assertive or I ask its the same old crap in my face. I'm tired, I'm not feeling well... Amazingly enough (and it has been stated to me) that if he was having sex with other women we would have sex more often.. Gee don't I feel special.. to get any sex he has to have it off with other women.. he can jerk off to porn but not me.. Oh and yeah I'm not to take it personally. Whatever. Im sorry but how can I not take it personally.

I hate so much its ripping me apart

I hate and I hate the fact I feel that.. Its ripping me apart. I hate the person who is interested in Scott he thinks the sun shines out of her arse when she is just a fucking liar like so many others.. Oh she is so perfect so open and honest oh please someone choke me with the bullshit. She is a dirty great big liar she preaches how she is open and honest yet is so contradictory it isn't even funny. She says she wants to be my friend but i'm the one that has to contact her and then she goes to Scott I can't be friends with women as they play games... Whose the one playing games now. Don't tell people you want to be friends yet do nothing to create that friendship and then go around your back and say how you can't be friends with women cause of their games.. Oh and Scott thinks she is a goddess so she is always right makes me fucking sick to my stomach. And the flirting in the emails and how he wants to impress her with quotes from Anime movie.. And then trys to spout we are only friends..Bullshit!! friends that I know don't flirt with each other. How can you both be friends when you both want more go on tell me that.. You can't it isn't possible you will always cross the line even if you don't mean to. I hate it and I wish she would just piss off and screw someone else over.. Pretend to care about me and then while i'm in hospital make a move oh yeah that is so honest and open. I hate how i'm feeling inside kill me now and spare me the pain.

Why wont death take me

This is going to sound disturbing but frankly I don't give a fuck if it does its how I feel and i'm not having anyone discredit that. I want to die. I hate life, there is nothing good in my life, there is nothing to live for and nothing worth living for. Why cant death come and take me doesn't seem like to much to ask people die everyday when will I get saved and it be my day?