Scott and I moved from Essendon and got a house formally together again since we sold the house in Canberra. I have had a Gastric Bypass by a brilliant man who has saved my life in so many ways. I have lost over 80kg and still counting :) I recently had my gall bladder out which was done by the same surgeon. I'm still in pain over that one as it is pretty fresh. Scott and I aren't really doing all that well the bedroom department is null and void and when I was in hospital having the bypass done he was chatting to a woman who I thought wanted to be our friend turns out she was interested in Scott and wanted to start something with her well boy was I pissed. So currently they are friends conversing via emails I have not started trusting her again as she also has spouted lies. The one thing that has come from all of this is the fact that I can see lies now and I just cant hack them. I don't want them in my life at all. So what am I to do. I really want Scott to be happy I just don't feel happy at all these days. I don't feel special to him even though he says loves me I just don't feel it :( I need help so bad but I don't know who to trust the Poly community is so closed everyone knows everyone. Sometimes I feel like leaving as to me Scott would be better off. God I hope doing this blog thing helps me sort out what to do and how to go about doing it. All I can say is that I feel like there is no future, no happiness in the world and no hope at happiness. I cant see a silver lining anywhere.
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